8/12/2010
my body is tired and my mind won't rest. it's screaming... my brain is storming at me. constant constant constant. i try to be loving i am love. i give and expect little in return for i know the reward in the end is great. still what to do when matters of the heart turn sour. im done. i can be understanding and kind but this is ridiculous. i was partying the night away having so much fun and there she was... ruining everything. embarrass yourself and me in public because that seems like a great idea right? apparently the thing to do. i hate that word... i can never spell it right on the first try... if i were a spelling bee kid i'd have such a complex... ... ... AHHHH!!!!! i'm goin to the Oasis of the seas. i'm excited but i grow weary of this life at sea. my life aquatic is plaguing me. people are real but aren't real. i love and it's not love. my kindness is unkind. i'm forgetting how to be compassionate passionately...? hmm, bees in the bottle and cats in the soup. clucking chickens and i don't eat right anymore.
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